


To Hope on a Purple Cat

by Lune_qui_vit_dans_ses_Reves



Category: Girl Meets World
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-17
Updated: 2016-06-17
Packaged: 2018-07-15 13:21:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7223950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lune_qui_vit_dans_ses_Reves/pseuds/Lune_qui_vit_dans_ses_Reves
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All anyone ever saw when they looked at it was a simply purple cat, but to Riley it meant so much more. To Riley, she symbolized hope. (A story of Riley learning what love is and holding on to it.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Hope on a Purple Cat

**Author's Note:**

> This entire story is a head cannon spun out of control. I had the privilege of reading the head cannons imaginarybird created concerning Riley’s childhood (they can be found on Tumblr and if you haven't read them, you should; they're brilliant) and in making a few additional connections between those and what is shown on the show and real life, the hypothesis surrounding Riley’s slight fascination with purple cats came to be, which evolved into this story. In short the head cannons contemplated what Riley’s childhood might have been like growing up with parents who were still in college, grad school, and the early years of working and proposes that they might not have been entirely happy. Also, special thanks to S. my wonderful beta and A. who read through many drafts and answered my many questions; I couldn’t have done it without you. :) 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this and thanks for reading; have a wonderful day!

“You ready, Riles?”

 

Riley tucked herself further into the closet, praying that Maya wouldn’t open the door and that if she did, she wouldn’t find her. She moved part of her skirt, cringing the entire time as it rustled and seemed to call out “I’m in here, I’m in here! Come find me!” Oh, why had she chosen this dress out of all the ones she had? She wondered over and over as she tried to make herself smaller and smaller and curled over the object cradled in her arms, pulling it even closer to her.

 

She could hear the muffled clicking of Maya’s heels as she walked across the room and towards the bed. Hopefully she’d fall for the fake Riley trick and think that the line of pillows was her again. She didn’t hear another set of footsteps, however, which meant that none of the guys had followed Maya – they really shouldn’t have anyway, not if they wanted to follow tradition – which also meant that Zay wasn’t there to reveal her trap, she realized, feeling some of the tension disappear. If Zay wasn’t there and if her dress didn’t give her away, hopefully Maya wouldn’t be able to find her and then everything would be okay – or at least that was what she hoped.

 

“Oh, Honey,” she heard Maya say – yep, it seemed like it had worked once more, “you went back to sleep? After all that work to get ready, you went back to sleep? I know you don’t plan on getting much sleep tonight, but come on, Riles. Everyone’s waiting for you.”

 

Maya waited a few moments for Riley to get up before deciding enough was enough. They were running on a tight schedule and she knew that Riley would worry more if they got further behind than she would if she accidently crushed her dress. Besides, the dress was so heavy that the wrinkles would simply fall out by the time they got there, so really, it wasn’t even be a big deal and no one would notice if the dress was wrinkled because her best friend jumped on top of her to wake her up. “Okay, Riles, you leave me no choice,” Maya called, her voice now further from the bed.

 

“1, 2, 3!” she yelled, kicking off her heals before running and launching herself onto the bed and what she thought was Riley, only to find that what lay under the covers was most definitely not her best friend.

 

“Riley? Riles, where are you?” Riley heard the comforter being thrown off the bed and the distinct flop of each pillow hitting the ground. “Riley please, this isn’t funny.” She heard Maya grow more and more frantic as she searched the room. She heard the squeak and squeal of the door being opened to the bathroom, the whining of the dresser and its drawers as they were forced to open and then the loud slam of them being closed.

 

 _Please don’t look in here. Please don’t look in here,_ she thought to herself, moving around the shirts, pants, skirts, and dresses she had hung up earlier that day so that it looked like no one was in there. Tucking herself as far back as possible while making herself as small as she possibly could and quietly trying to move her skirt so Maya wouldn’t see it, she couldn’t help but whisper “You know, all we need is to be hiding under a blanket and it would be just like all those nights when I was younger.” As she realized this, the first real, albeit small, smile played on her face, the first, truly real smile of the day.  

 

Suddenly, hearing the door open and a stream of light shatter the inky darkness of the closet she clasped both her hands over her mouth and froze.

 

_Go away. Please go away. If you love me, Maya, you’ll go away._

 

She could imagine Maya searching the closet, her eyes landing on each article of clothing and looking for any hint that Riley could be hiding within. She felt the slight swoosh of a dress being moved and the current of air that moving a pair of pants created and sat there, curled in a ball, as still as a statue until the light disappeared and Maya closed the door.

 

She stayed there frozen in place as she heard Maya search a few other places, still calling for her, before finally running out of the room, calling for her parents. “Cory! Topanga! Riley’s disappeared!”

 

“I’m sorry,” she said closing her eyes and willing back the tears that threatened to fall, “I’m sorry. Please don’t hate me,” she murmured into the welcoming silence of the closet and hoping that the guys were far away enough and wouldn’t hear what Maya was shouting.

 

 _Don’t cry. Good girls don’t cry,_ a little girl’s voice echoed in her head. _Well, good girls don’t make those who care for them worry about them,_ another voice countered as another added _good girls don’t fight with those they love,_ before Riley could block all of them out and ignore what they were saying.

 

Reaching beside her, she pulled out a flashlight, a notebook, and a set of crayons. “It looks like it’s just you and me, Plum,” she whispered to her companion, finally letting go of the purple cat she had been cradling.

 

Turning on the flashlight, she set the plush cat on the ground in front of her, selected the purple crayon from its box and began to draw in the dim, shadowy light, muscle memory taking over as she was drawn back into her memories of her childhood.

 

_You sit there, Plum. I’ll draw you a picture and when I’m done everything will be alright. You’ll see. Everything will be okay._

 

\---------

 

As the noise grew louder and louder, she pulled her blue blanket tighter and tighter around where she sat, huddled in a ball in her closet, trying to block out the yelling. She wished they would stop yelling. All it did was make Mommy and Daddy sad and she hated when they were sad.

 

“Cory, we can’t keep doing this!” That was Mommy.

 

“Topanga, I’m trying. Can’t you see that I’m trying?” And that was Daddy.

 

She’d be going to Grandma and Grandpa’s house tomorrow, she just knew it. Sometimes after one of these, these fights (yes, that was what she had heard her daddy call it one night when he was talking to Grandpa on the phone while Mommy was at the library working) she’d be able to stay with her mommy and daddy, but when they were this loud and angry sounding, the very next day she’d be on a train with Grandma or Granny and stay there for a while. She didn’t mind staying with Grandma and Grandpa or Granny and Gramps – Josh was there and he played with her and Grandma, Grandpa, Granny, and Gramps gave her lots of hugs and kisses and there’d be lots of toys to play with and no yelling or hiding in her closet – but there was no Mommy or Daddy and she always missed them when she went away.

 

At least she had Plum. Plum would keep her company and never said that she couldn’t play with her like some of the other little girls and boys sometimes did. She didn’t know why, but sometimes when she and Mommy or Daddy were out, people would give them a mean stare and she’d hide behind her mommy or daddy until they left. She hated when people did that. It made her feel like she was a bad girl and she tried really hard to be as good as she possible could.

 

But Plum didn’t do that. No, Plum let her play with her whenever she wanted and never told her she couldn’t play. She’d had her for as long as she could remember, but if she thought really hard about it, she could remember the very first time they had met.

 

It had been the first time she had gone to stay with Grandma and Grandpa without her mommy or daddy coming with her. It had been right after the worst argument she had ever heard them have; one that ended with her daddy slamming the door and her mommy crying, something that she could even hear from where sat hidden in her closet. She had run out to her mommy and thrown her arms around her and tried to make it better with kisses, but unlike whenever her mommy or daddy did it for her, it didn’t make her mommy stop crying. Instead it just seemed to make her cry harder and she just rocked her back and forth and that’s where she fell asleep – in her mommy’s arms.

 

They had been at the train station waiting for Grandma and she had seen her in a window, just waiting there all by herself. It was like she was waiting for a friend to come find her and bring her home. She had stared at her for a long time wishing she could come home with her and that she could be that friend – she wanted a friend too – but then had waved goodbye and turned around trying to forget about the purple kitty sitting in the window. _Good girls don’t ask for unnecessary things_ , she had thought, remembering the time she had asked her mommy for a doll just like the girls in the park had and her mommy had looked like she was going to cry when she told Riley they couldn’t get one right now, but that if she as a good girl, maybe she could get one for Christmas or her birthday.

 

She didn’t want to make her mommy and daddy cry again, not when she had woken up in her bed to find her daddy with red rimmed eyes packing her bag and had fallen asleep to her mommy’s tears. So she had just stood there waiting for Grandma, holding her mommy’s hand – her daddy had disappeared somewhere, but she wasn’t worried, he always gave her a hug and kiss before he went to class (even though he hadn’t the night before, but she was sure that was just a mistake) – trying to ignore the poor purple kitty who had been all alone. She had almost done it when her daddy came back and knelt down in front of her and handed her a package.

 

Looking up at her daddy she wondered why he was giving this to her. Grandma and Grandpa and Granny and Gramps gave her presents. Presents from her mommy and daddy were on special occasions, and this wasn’t one of them. “For me?” she asked, unsure what to do with it. Was it for Grandma and she was holding on to it for her? Or maybe for Josh? Was it his birthday soon?

 

“Yes, sweetie, for you,” her daddy had told her and looking up at her mommy to make sure it was okay, she saw her nod.

 

Smiling, she threw her arms around her daddy’s neck and hugged him. “Thank you Daddy!”

 

“But you haven’t opened it yet, sweetheart,” her mommy told her after she had hugged her. “Why don’t you see what it is?”

 

Carefully opening the brown package, trying to not rip the paper, she stared at the purple kitty that sat on her lap. Handing the paper to her mommy like she did every time she was given something, she pulled the kitty to her chest and squeezed it tight.

 

“She’s a friend to keep you company when we can’t be there, Riley.” her daddy explained as he picked both of them up and held her in his arms.

 

“We love you so much sweetheart,” her mommy had told her as she hugged her and her daddy.

 

Riley turned to Plum who was huddled under the blanket with her. She gently patted her soft head and whispered, “We’re going to see Grandma, Grandpa and Josh tomorrow. It’ll be okay Plum, it’ll be okay.”

 

\---------

 

It was the last Friday of the month, which meant that Mommy and Daddy were going to argue again, Riley realized as her mommy said thank you to Mrs. Carmichael, who stayed with her after kindergarten. _Maybe it would be better than last month when she had gone to visit Grandma and Grandpa and Josh for a whole two weeks_ , Riley thought as she sat on the coach. Maybe, if she was lucky, the fight wouldn’t last very long or be very loud, and she wouldn’t have to hide in her closet. She could just close the door to her room and curl up on her bed. Maybe if she were really, really, really lucky there wouldn’t be any fight at all.

 

Still, she better play it safe, she decided jumping off the coach and grabbing her crayons – Josh had given them to her during her last visit – and a handful of paper from the box where her parents kept their used papers (she was allowed to color on them) and carried them to her closet as her mommy began to make dinner. Once she had neatly stacked her crayons on top of her paper – and grabbed her flashlight, she headed to her bed and tugged and pulled her blanket until it came off and nearly caused her to topple over. After dragging it to her closet, she raced back and grabbed the most important thing for surviving a night in her closet – Plum. Sure, she was looking a little thinner than she had been when Riley had first received her and while, yes, some of her fur was matted, she was still Riley’s closest and dearest – and in a way only – friend and she would always be Riley’s Plum.

 

***

 

Dinner was tense and as she ate her mashed potatoes, peas and chicken, she could feel the tension lying underneath both of her parents’ happy faces as they talked about their day and asked Riley what she had done at kindergarten. She needed to get out of there. Quickly finishing her meal and saying thank you, she sped to her room and managed to close the door just before the yelling started.

 

“What were you thinking? Why did you-?” She was right, Mommy was angry with Daddy. Clapping her hands over her ears, she raced for her closet and shutting the door, pulled her knees up to her chest and clutched Plum wishing for it to stop.

 

“Would you please just stop for a minute?” And Daddy didn’t sound very happy either. _Please stop yelling_ she pleaded as she wrapped her blue blanket around her and pulled Plum closer.

 

But it didn’t – of course it didn’t – and instead it just seemed to get louder and louder. Riley sniffled and wiped her nose with a tissue from the roll of toilet paper she had hidden a few months ago before viciously rubbing her eyes.

 

 _Stop crying_ she thought to herself. _Good girls don’t cry. They fix things. So Riley Matthews, how are you going to fix this?_

 

But she didn’t know. How could she fix this? For as long as she could remember, her mommy and daddy argued with each other. Sure it wasn’t as often as it used to be, and yes, her parents always told her they loved each other, but sometimes it seemed like the fights were getting worse, even if things seemed to be getting better.

 

Looking down, her eyes caught sight of the white paper and crayons she had forgotten about in her attempt to block out the yelling. Smiling teary eyed and wiping away a stray tear that ran down her face, she grabbed her flashlight and turned it on. She could still hear her mommy and daddy arguing but she had learned a while ago that if she drew she could pretend that everything was okay. But what could she draw? She didn’t feel like drawing a picture of her mommy and daddy, and she had already drawn a lot of her grandma, grandpa and Josh as well as her granny and gramps. So what was left? And then she saw it. Sitting right besides her was Plum. _Oh, she could draw Plum!_ Riley realized. _Why didn’t she think of that before?_ she wondered as she grabbed her and set her down in front of her.

 

Picking up the purple crayon – she had to make Plum’s drawing as real as possible – she whispered to her, “You sit there, Plum. I’ll draw you a picture and when I’m done everything will be alright. You’ll see. Everything will be okay. I promise.”

 

\---------

 

Riley looked up from her drawing and smiled at the small purple cat that sat seated near her on the ground. “I guess it’s just you and me again, isn’t it?” she whispered, picking her up and petting her soft head.

 

Leaning back against the wall, she sighed. “I bet you think I’m silly, don’t you, Plum?” she confided in the little stuffed animal. “Hiding in a closet on what’s supposed to be the happiest day of my life.” Riley shrugged, thinking about it. “I never thought I’d be here either, but for the past few days all I can think about is every argument we’ve ever had and I can’t help wondering if they’ll only get worse once, you know,” she said, pulling her close to her again. “They said my mom and dad didn’t argue very much when they were younger, but most of my memories from when I was little are of them arguing. I mean there are good ones – it wasn’t as if they argued everyday –but the overwhelming majority of them are, quite truthfully, negative. I know we’re not my parents, but I can’t help worrying that all we’ll do is argue.” Riley ran her hands through her hair – hair that now hung in brown ringlets that framed her face and then buried her face in her hands not caring about how her make-up might smudge.

 

“And I couldn’t bear it if all we did was argue,” she whispered, her voice muffled, “He deserves better than that. He deserves better than someone who almost tore her parent’s marriage apart and destroyed what they had originally imagined about their life.”

 

\---------

 

Riley snuck out of her room to grab another sheet of paper. She and Plum were drawing pictures for Grandma, Grandpa, Granny and Gramps for Christmas and they had run out of paper, so she had left Plum to guard the presents while she went to fetch more supplies. Quickly racing to the paper box, anxious to return and finish her drawings, she almost missed her parents who were sitting at the table, but then she heard them. As she peeked out from behind the coach, she could see her mommy sitting at the table, calculator in hand, book in front of her and a frown on her face while her daddy sat next to her rubbing his eyes.

 

“Look, we can get it to balance out,” she could hear her daddy saying quietly. “Just work out how much we need and I’ll put in the hours needed.”

 

“That’ll never work, Cory,” her mommy told her daddy as she sighed. “You know, sometimes I wonder how much more of this I can take.”

 

“It’ll work, Topanga.” She watched as her daddy put his arm around her mommy and hugged her. “I know this isn’t what we imagined but it’s what we have, and we’ll make it work.”

 

“Sometimes making it work isn’t enough,” she heard her mommy whisper.

 

“Hey, we’re Cory and Topanga. We’ll make it work. I love you and I always will, no matter what happens.” Riley quickly closed her eyes when she saw her daddy going to kiss her mommy before she raced back to her room, looking down the whole time, careful not to make a sound or let her parents know what she had heard.

 

Sitting on her bed, Plum besides her, she thought about what she heard as she drew. It sounded like one of the talks her mommy and daddy had when she went to bed or when they thought she was in her room playing or drawing, she realized as she added a red flower to her grandma’s garden, putting the finishing touches on her present.

 

 _Am I the reason why they’re so sad_? she wondered as she colored in the sun she had drawn, only to realize she had picked up the black crayon and had colored what was supposed to be a bright and happy yellow sun, black ruining the entire present. She hadn’t meant to, she really hadn’t. Staring at the ruined picture, she thought about the other secret conversations she sometimes heard when she snuck out of her room. They were always of her parents talking about what they had imagined. Yes, they always said they were happy and content with what they had, but as Riley traced the black sun with her finger she couldn’t help but try to imagine the life her parents had imagined when they were little.

 

 _I’ll be a good girl._ Riley promised as she carefully got up and put the picture in the trash. _When I get older I won’t make someone unhappy again, not if I can help it._

 

\---------

 

“And that’s all I’ll do,” Riley confided in her little friend. “I’ll make him unhappy. You know,” she said grabbing another piece of paper planning on starting another drawing – obviously drawing just one purple cat had not worked to soothe her nerves, “ever since we started planning this, we’ve argued more than I can ever remember us doing in the past. And I’ve known him ever since I was a little girl.”

 

Riley picked up the orange crayon and stared at it for a second before beginning to draw an orange circle. “I think this time I’ll put Pluto in the background. We all need a little bit of hope today and you might get lonely by yourself.”

 

\---------

 

“Look, Plum!” Riley exclaimed as she entered her room carrying a huge book. “Look at what Grandma and Grandpa sent! It’s to celebrate my graduation from kindergarten and as Grandpa said, to introduce me to the world.”

 

Grabbing Plum from her bed, she sat on the ground, her back pressed up against her purple blanket that lay on her bed. “It’s a book about the galaxy,” she explained, wonder and amazement coloring her voice as she opened it up and showed the stuffed kitten some of the various pictures that graced the introduction.

 

“Mommy just read me part of it, and I,” she said, flipping though it, searching for a specific photo, “wanted to show you something.”

 

“Hmm…” she murmured, narrowing her eyes as she passed page after page. “Let’s see here, this is the Sun,” flip a few pages, “that’s Mercury,” flip page again, “Venus,” turn a few pages, “That’s us, we live on Earth,” flip another page, “Mars,” flip page – okay, now she was kind of getting annoyed, where was it? – “that’s Jupiter,” flip some pages, “Saturn,” flip page again, “Uranus,” skip the next few pages, “Neptune – I like how blue it is, don’t you Plum? But don’t worry, that’s not what I want to show you,” she told her purple friend as she flipped ahead another few pages. “Oh, here it is!” She exclaimed, pointing to a picture of a small light orange-brown circle.

 

‘This is Pluto, Plum,” she explained, lifting up the cat so she could see the photo a little better. “Mommy told me that it’s no longer a planet because of how small it is compared to the other planets, but I think that I’ll always consider it a planet. It may be small, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t have a big heart.”

 

Riley nodded to herself. “Yes,” she decided, “Pluto may be the smallest planet, or I guess dwarf planet as Mommy said, but it definitely has the biggest heart. We’ll always believe in Pluto, won’t we, Plum?” she asked before she grabbed both the book and cat, jumped on the bed and began to explain the rest of the planets, now that she had shown Plum her favorite one.

 

\---------

 

“Pluto,” Riley smiled as she began adding a purple cat to her drawing and pushed part of her silk skirt out of the way, “the smallest planet with the biggest heart.”

 

Turning to Plum whom she had set on part of her skirt – goodness knows how many yards of silk had been used to create this dress that might not even be used if she had her way – she studied the little cat. “Maybe I should have named you Pluto instead of Plum.” she told her, “But I guess I can’t really imagine calling you anything other than Plum. You didn’t really look like a Peaches. I guess I was saving that name for later. And it’s a good thing. I can’t really imagine calling Maya “Plum”. Can you imagine that?” she asked, shuddering at the idea, “That would just be really weird.”

 

\---------

 

“So what are you going to call her?” Cory asked Riley as they waited for his mother to arrive and take Riley back to Philadelphia with her.

 

He watched as his little girl carefully studied the little stuffed cat before nodding resolutely and declaring, “Plum.”

 

“Plum?” he questioned. _Did I hear that correctly?_ he wondered as he turned to his wife who looked just as confused as he was.

 

“Plum, Riley?” Topanga asked, causing their daughter to look up at her smile – the smile that Cory swore could stop a war.

 

“Yes, Mommy,” Riley answered. “She doesn’t look like a Peaches and she’s purple so her name can only be Plum,” she explained as if it were the simplest thing in the universe.

 

“Well, if you’re sure, sweetheart,” Topanga smiled before reaching and taking Riley from Cory’s arms.

 

Riley nodded, “I am, Mommy. This is Plum and she’s very grateful that she gets to come home.”

 

“Welcome home, Plum.” Cory told the little cat as he kissed his daughter’s forehead and then that of the stuffed animal.

 

\---------

 

Riley sighed as she stared down at her drawing of the purple cat and the orange planet. Ten drawings in and she still didn’t feel any better. Turning to her companion she shook her head and told her, “You know, this used to work a lot better when I was little,” she said, remembering the nights when she only had to draw one or two pictures of Plum and all of a sudden everything would seem like it would be okay.

 

“I don’t know why this isn’t working,” she lamented, finally giving up and putting her crayons away before grabbing the blanket she had smuggled into the closet and wrapping it around her and Plum.

 

“Maybe if I just go to sleep this will all be some sort of nightmare and everything will be okay when I wake up,” she whispered to herself, shifting slightly to pull the pillow off the ground where she had been using it as a cushion. (She had hid in enough closets in her life to know what the essentials were, and a pillow was definitely one of them.) She wasn’t sure what time it was – she had been smart enough to turn off all of her electronic devices and leave them outside of the closet due to the possibility of being tracked – but she was sure that enough time had passed that he would have had to apologize to everyone and send everyone home and she did not want to be part of that madness. _I’ll just hide in here for a few more hours,_ she decided as she moved the pillow and tried to get comfortable, or as comfortable as possible considering the circumstances. She hoped he hadn’t minded and that they could still be friends. Besides, in the end, she was doing him a favor. This was what was best for everyone and while it might hurt at first, it would be better in the end.

 

“Or maybe, if you talk to someone about what’s worrying you, you won’t have to hide anymore,” a voice from outside the door told her.

 

Riley couldn’t keep the small smile off her face. _Maya_. Why was she not surprised? “How’d you find me?” she asked.

 

“Oh, you know,” Maya replied, keeping her tone light, “when you’ve known a girl even since she was 7 years old, you learn a few things about her. Especially where she likes to hide when she’s worried about something.”

 

Riley stared at the door that she knew her best friend was leaning on. “But you looked in here and didn’t say anything.”

 

Maya tilted her head back and stared at the ceiling, wishing Riley would open the door, “You seemed like you needed some space and time to think,” she explained before lapsing into silence, one she knew her best friend was not keen on breaking anytime soon.

 

“I’m scared, Maya,” Riley finally whispered, her voice just barely loud enough to carry through the thin door. “What if I do something to mess everything up and I end up wrecking this? I don’t want to wreck this,” she confided, her voice breaking as she explained what had been bothering her ever since she had said yes.

 

“Oh, Honey,” Maya sighed, now understanding what had been eating away at her friend. She didn’t know all the details of what had happened when Riley had been younger, and she certainly had not been privy to them when they were children or in high school, but once they had entered college and the reality of being adults and everything that came with that nomenclature had hit them, Riley – who proved to be far more knowledgeable than anyone had expected about these things – finally revealed some of what her childhood had been like. The childhood Riley had had before she had turned 7 and her parents had moved to a house in Greenwich with a welcoming bay window that a little girl had crawled through one fateful day.

 

“You won’t do that,” Maya promised. “I know you and I know him and I know that whatever your worried about won’t happen because you two love each other. Yes, fights will happen, Riles, but you’ll get through them because you care for each far other more than you care for yourself.”

 

“But Maya,” Riley began to protest before Maya cut her off.

 

“Riles, the fact that you’re hiding in a closet because you don’t want to hurt him is proof enough.”

 

Maya could infer from the silence that followed her response that her comment had made Riley think about the chances and the possibility of her fear actually coming true.

 

“Peaches?” Riley finally asked.

 

“Honey?” Maya responded, happy that her friend was finally starting to sound like herself again.

 

“How much does he hate me?” Riley murmured, desperately wanting to know the answer, yet sure she’d hate the response. However, to her surprise, the answer she received was definitely not the one that she had been expecting.

 

“Why don’t you ask him yourself?” Maya told her as she motioned to the man who had been leaning on the doorframe and staring at the closet, a tender look on his face, during the entire conversation. “I’ll be right outside if you need me, Riles.” She reassured her knowing that her answer must have freaked her friend out just a tiny bit. Turning around, Maya glared at him. “I’ve known you nearly as long as I’ve known her, but if you so much as make her cry, well, let’s just say you’ll regret it for the rest of your life. Got it?”

 

He nodded and smiling, Maya got up and patted his shoulder as she passed him. “Good, now go talk to her.”

 

“Riles?” he asked, keeping his voice soft as if to not scare her off.

 

Inside her closet Riley brushed away the tears that had once again made themselves known the moment she had heard his voice. At first she had thought Maya must have been kidding when she said to ask him – surely he didn’t want to talk to her. Why would he? Not after all the fights they had had and the fact that she hadn’t shown up. How could he still be there? He shouldn’t be there; he couldn’t possibly be there and yet here he was, in her room and talking to her.

 

“Hi,” she finally replied, her voice wavering as she uttered that single syllable.

 

“Hi,” he replied, smiling softly to himself. At least she was talking to him. When Maya had come to tell him they might need to push back the original stated time as Riley was hiding in her closet, he had immediately wondered what he could have done to make her worry and become so scared that she felt like the only safe place that existed was her – or well, a – closet. She had done something like this once before. Once she had gotten so spooked about something that she had fled and hidden up on her roof, haunted by ghosts of her past. He hadn’t truly understood why at the time – she had only told him bit and pieces of her past – but now as he began to recall some of the stories she had shared with him during those quiet nights when they lay there whispering secrets and sharing stories they had never shared with anyone else, he understood why she was hiding and knew exactly what to say.

 

She had told him of unexpected and eventually expected trips to her grandparents’ house, of falling asleep to the sound of her parents arguing as she hid in her closet, of creating imaginary friends because other children didn’t want to play with her, and of Josh being her only real friend when she was younger due to how often she stayed with them. As he had stood by the door as Maya tried to comfort her best friend, their hushed conversation had only confirmed what he had hypothesized had happened, and now it was his job to convince his darling Riley that arguing with each other was okay and that fighting between a couple was normal and even, in a sense, good so long as you didn’t let that be all that happened and as long as you remembered no matter what, that you loved them and that you would gladly put them before yourself. He had once convinced her that truly loving someone was okay, even if you scared, and he if he could do that, this, compared to that, was a cakewalk.

 

“How are you?” he asked, putting his hand on the door, wishing he could just open it up and hug her, but willing to give her the time and space she needed.

 

Riley choked back a sob. Why was he asking her how she was? She should be the one asking him how he was. She was, after all, the one who had disappeared and had left him to clean up the mess she had left in her wake. Moving from where she was huddled against the wall and fighting her skirt as she did – why did no one ever warn her how hard it was to hide in a ball gown? _I should have chosen the A-line dress,_ she thought as she finally made it to the door and leaned against it. _At least trying to move around in that dress would have been a lot easier_. “I’m okay. How are you?” she whispered.

 

Turning around, he put his back to the door and slid down it until he was seated in a manner that unknowingly exactly mirrored Riley’s. “A little hungry,” he told her before explaining his rather abnormal answer. “Knowing that everyone is eating right now is making me really want a snack,” he revealed, hoping she would pick up on what he was subtly trying to tell her, as only then that they could truly discuss what had happened.

 

Riley furrowed her brows at his response. Eating? Shouldn’t everyone have gone home after she didn’t show up? Normally when these things were called off everyone went home, so why didn’t they go home. Unless…

 

“Eating?” Riley echoed, testing to see if her hypothesis was correct.

 

Outside he nodded to himself, he knew she’d understand. “You didn’t think you could scare me off by simply hiding, did you?”

 

“I thought it might work.” Riley sighed and lowered her head. “I just don’t want it to turn out like… I just didn’t want us to get hurt in the end and end up hating each other and never being able to handle seeing each other again. I couldn’t bear it if that happened. We’ve fought more these past few months than we ever have before, and if that’s what it’s going to be like, then I figured it was better to end it now with the possibility of being friends then after a few years ending it and never talking to each other again. I love you too much to have that be our future,” she confessed.

 

At her admission he ran a hand through his hair before burying his head in both of them. He had hypothesized that that was probably what was bothering her, but to hear it from her and to know that he had played an active role in bringing these demons back into her thoughts made him feel like he had failed her.

 

“Riles,” he finally said once he had collected himself, “I have loved you ever since I met you that day at that Halloween party. You stood there – plastic crown on your head, dressed in a purple and pink dress, with hair soaked through from trying to bob for apples – staring at me and I knew right there that I loved you.”

 

“You saved my life,” Riley whispered, remembering the exact moment she had been pulled up from the bowl and saw a little boy with glasses dressed as Count Dracula smiling at her. “Twice.”

 

“And you saved mine, every day,” Farkle replied, his emotions causing his voice to waver. “But it wasn’t a love at first sight, Riles, I got to know you and love you as a best friend and then slowly, even if we didn’t what was happening, the way we loved each other began changing and morphing into something greater. That’s what’s brought us here, Riley. That’s what we’ll always have. No matter what happens or how many fights we have, no matter what, I will always love you.”

 

“Even when we argue about what color the napkins should be?” Riley inquired, the tears she had tried to banish now running freely at Farkle’s declaration.

 

“Especially then,” Farkle told her, a tender smile on his face. “We’ve survived every up and down this world has thrown at us. We’ll survive whatever ones come next, together.”

 

“I’m sorry, for everything,” Riley murmured brushing away a lock of hair before placing her hand on the door.

 

“I’m sorry I didn’t see what was going on,” he told her, turning slightly and unknowingly placing his hand exactly where her hand was, a single plank of wood separating them.

 

Riley took a deep breath and closed her eyes before letting it out and feeling the remaining tension run out of her body. “Have I ruined everything?” she asked.

 

“Never,” he said, shaking his head. “You could never ruin this, because I won’t ever give up on us. I promise. You should feel safe to tell me whenever you’re worried about something. I love you and I’ll always be here for you.”

 

“I love you too,” Riley said with more strength and conviction in her voice than she had possessed in weeks. Thinking for a moment, she nodded to herself and maneuvering around her skirt she opened the door.

 

Farkle heard movement behind him and could feel the door beginning to be opened. Quickly jumping up, he rapidly pushed the door shut with a bit more force than he had originally intended.

 

“Farkle?” Riley asked, confusion coloring her voice, “What are you doing?”

 

“The better question,” he replied, turning the question on her, “is what are you doing?”

 

Riley stared at the door perplexed by this new situation. “Trying to open the door to hug you and give you a kiss?” Now she was really confused. “What else would I be doing?”

 

“Whatever happened to the idea of not seeing the bride in her dress until the actual wedding?” came his amused response.

 

Riley’s eyes widened with shock as she processed what Farkle was saying and, in her surprise, fell to the ground, her dress flying out around her as she did so. “You mean, today?” she couldn’t help asking.

 

Farkle tried to hold back his laughter, but a few chuckles still escaped. “Of course I mean today.”

 

“You still want to…” Riley stuttered not sure what to say. “Farkle.”

 

“Riley, I’d marry you in a garden, on a lawn, in a farm house, in an courthouse, wherever and on any day, but if you still want to, all of our family and friends are downstairs and they’re more than happy to celebrate with us today. But only if you want to, we can always reschedule if you’d like and chose a different day and location or come back here,” he assured her.

 

“No,” Riley told him as she clasped her hands over her mouth to contain her joyful peals of laughter. “Oh, Farkle, we’re getting married today!”

 

Farkle smiled as he leaned his head against the door as he continued to hold the handle and keep the door shut. He was certain that if he didn’t, Riley would come flying out and as much as he wanted to hold her in that moment, he’d wait just to let his first glimpse of her in her wedding gown be when she walked down the aisle to meet him at the end of it. “Yes, we are,” he echoed, wishing more than anything to throw traditions out of the window and just open the door.

 

“Okay,” he decided after a few minutes of just standing there and enjoying the knowledge that the one he loved was just across from him, separated only by a single piece of wood, “I’ll go tell everyone that we’re going to wrap up the previews of the big day and start the main event soon.”

 

“I love you, Riley,” he said, bringing his fingers to his lips and then pressing them to the door. “Never forget that. I’ll see you downstairs.”

 

“And I love you,” Riley murmured, knowing that even if he couldn’t quite clearly hear her, he knew what she was saying; he always did.

 

\---------

 

“So what do you think? Good enough to send out?” Farkle asked putting down the orange pen he had been using and looking across the table at his partner who sat catatonic staring at the paper in front of her, purple pen frozen in mid-air, her eyes opened wide with surprise and a bit of shock – shock which then morphed into panic.

 

Blinking a few times, the girl’s eyes darted from the paper to his face and then back down to the paper and then finally back to him, the whole time avoiding eye contact as if unsure and, in a way, terrified of what she had just read.

 

“Hey, it’s not that bad,” he said after a few minutes confused by her silent response. “I mean, I know I’m not the English genius – that title rightfully goes to you – but I thought it was a pretty good essay.” He gave her a hesitant smile.

 

She looked away and bit her lip before returning her gaze to the paper and drawing in a shaky breath. When she finally lifted her head and made eye contact, he could see that her eyes were wet and glistening with unshed tears.

 

Grabbing her beige coat and backpack, she suddenly jumped up, brushed a kiss against his cheek and with a whispered “I’m sorry” disappeared so quickly that for a second he thought he had imagined the whole exchange.

 

Looking down at his hands and realizing he still had her essay, he grabbed his own and hurrying out of Topanga’s with hopes of catching her, he discovered that she vanished without a trace.

 

“Riley!” He yelled hoping she would hear him and come back and explain what had just happened, but all he heard was the echo of his cry on the wind. As he frantically thought about what could have caused her to flee, his eyes fell to his paper, a small smile making itself known as he read what had been written. ”Riley,” he murmured before racing after her. He knew that there were a million places to hide in New York City, but he had a guess where she had run to.

 

***

 

“Riley.”

 

At the sound of his voice she pulled the blue blanket tighter around her shoulders and hugged Plum tighter to her chest as she angled her face away from where he stood. When she had first fled her initial thoughts were to lock the Bay Window and run to her closet and just stay there hidden from the world, trying to block out the thousands of thoughts racing though her mind, just like she had hidden in a different closet long ago to try and escape her parents’ arguments. Yet when she had opened the white door, she had stared in and realized that try as she might, she couldn’t hide there. While it had felt completely right when she had been a child and the problems she had been faced with then, now, it just didn’t seem right. So instead, she grabbed the blanket she had hidden away a long time and snatching Plum from her bed, escaped to the rooftop hoping to find sanctuary from the feeling that were raging war inside of her.

 

“Riley, please,” he said, his voice growing closer and closer until she felt him sit down besides her. “Please tell me what’s going on.”

 

Looking down, she bit her lip to try and stop the tears that wanted so desperately to fall. Blinking a few times and letting a few tears escape, she began to angrily try to erase their existence before she felt a hand on her leg and a soft tissue began to gently wipe them away. Once it was done, the same hand slowly lifted her chin and then tenderly kissed both cheeks at each place where there had priorly been tears.

 

“I love you Riley,” he whispered pulling her close to him, “and if I’ve done anything to make you run from me like that, I apologize. You’re the best thing I’ve ever had in my life and I’d never want to hurt you, I hope you know that.”

 

Riley sniffled a few times keeping her eyes locked on the lights that flickered in the distance. She wanted to say something, to explain why she had fled like that, but what could she say? How could she tell Farkle that she wasn’t good for him?

 

“Okay, I’ll leave you alone.” Farkle finally said after a few minutes of silence had ticked – each second feeling as if Riley was fading away and he was unable to rescue her – slowly releasing her and standing up. “But if you’re not comfortable talking to me, please call Maya or Isadora or Zay or Lucas. Reach out to them if you don’t trust me,” he told her, his voice breaking, “please. They all care for you Riles, just like I do. I love you Riley.” He murmured as he reached the door.

 

“You love me and all I’ll do is disappoint you.” Riley finally whispered, looking up at him yet refusing to meet his gaze.

 

“What?” He asked shock coloring his voice as he briskly made his way back to her. “You could never Riles. Nothing you could ever do could make me disappointed in you. Never.”

 

Riley looked back down at Plum who was still clutched in her hands. “You’re saying that now Farkle, but even you can’t predict the future. What if something happens and I-“

 

“No.” Farkle cut her off knowing exactly what she was going to say. “I’ve known you since we were 7 years old. We’ve been friends for longer than we haven’t been friends. We’ve been with each other through every up and down and you once told me that friends don’t leave each other, well, I’ll up you on that. I won’t leave you, ever. I promise.”

 

“You don’t know that Farkle. How can you know that?” Riley questioned rolling her eyes as hope marred by disbelief played on her face.

 

“Because I know you,” he answered, “and I know myself, and I know us. I know our story, what we’ve been through and I have faith in out future. I won’t give up on love, ever, just like I won’t give up on us. You’ve let me understand what love is, Riley.”

 

“Farkle.” Riley sighed, knowing what he was saying as true yet disbelief – not in him but herself – still coloring her words. “You wrote your common app essay about love.”

 

“I know. They asked me what the most important lesson I had ever learned was. How could I not write about love?” He shrugged as if choosing his topic had been the easiest thing in the world. “I love you Riley and I want you to be happy, that’s all I’ve ever wanted.” He told her remembering the first time he had ever told her that; they had just been children.

 

“I know. I want you to be happy too.” Riley got up and began to pace, blanket catching on the wind and flying out behind her as she walked back and forth and back and forth trying to put into words what she was feeling, “But, I’m just worried about everything. We’re seniors now Farkle, we’re not children. We’re going to go to college and have to be adults and face the real world. It’s not easy out there. It can destroy friendships, relationships, and dreams, and I don’t want to be the cause of the destruction of yours.”

 

Catching her in his arms, Farkle held her in his arms trying to remember forever how this felt; to be with the one you wanted to spend forever with. Science truly could not explain love. “You won’t be. It might be scary out there all alone, but I’ve got you and you’ve got me and all of our friends. You won’t be alone.” He murmured as he felt the fear and terror slowly disappearing. “I love you Riley.”

 

 _I love you_ , the words echoed in her head. _I love you, I love you, I love you_. She was still fearful of the future, she had seen what it could look like – even if she was not her mother nor her father – but standing in Farkle’s arms, in the arms of someone she loved so dearly and who she knew loved her back just as much, she felt safe. Like every memory of the hundreds of arguments she remembered no longer carried much weight at all. They were no longer specters and demons that haunted her. They were simply memories of a time long ago from which she could learn.

 

Riley smiled up at him, her eyes that had once been filled with worry and terror now shining with completely different emotions – love and hope. “And I love you.” She echoed shrugging off her blanket and gently placing Plum on it, then lifting her hands and cradling his face; she kissed him.

 

***

_…For a long time I put my trust in science. Science has accomplished so many things and allowed human beings – homo sapiens sapiens – the ability to achieve and realize goals that otherwise would be impossible. Take for example the discovery of chemical reactivity series and how beneficial they are to our everyday life or the discovery of DNA and how a single gene mutation can change everything while having the potential to be positive change or a negative one. That said, science cannot explain everything. Sure there exist neurological pathways that can explain why someone feels happy when they are around someone they care for. Testosterone, estrogen, adrenaline, dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin and vasopressin are all hormones that have been reported to play a huge role in falling in love. But these hormones and the cascades that occur once they are released cannot truly explain love and what it feels like when you realize that the one standing besides you is the one you want to spend the rest of your life with._

_So the most important lesson I have ever learned, and I have been privileged to have the opportunity to learn a plethora of them, is that putting your trust in science is okay, but putting your trust in people and, in particular, those that you love, leads to a far better result._

 

\---------

 

Exiting the room, Farkle smiled at Maya who had returned carrying a rather large purse. “She’s all yours. Is everything ready?”

 

“Just about. Zay, Lucas and Isadora are taking care of everything downstairs,” Maya confirmed as she walked passed him and patted his shoulder. “We’ll see you there.”

 

Entering the bridal suite, Maya made a beeline to Riley’s closet and threw open the door. “Come on Riles, we have a lot of work to do,” she told her, holding out her hand and pulling her best friend off the ground. Leading her to the vanity, she sat her down and pulled out her make up bag. “Okay. Let’s start here and move onto hair afterwards.”

 

Riley nodded and, setting Plum down on the table, grabbed a make-up remover wipe. “Let’s get to work.”

 

***

 

“There,” Maya said, smiling at her best friend’s reflection. “Perfect. Farkle won’t even know what hit him.”

 

Turning around, Riley stood up and pulled Maya into a hug. “Thank you for everything, Peaches.”

 

“You’re welcome, Riles,” Maya whispered back. “Thank you for welcoming a strange girl who climbed through your window into your life. Now,” she said, stepping back and pulling two pens out of her dress – yes, the pockets had been one of the main selling points – she handed one to Riley and kept the other. “One last thing before we go downstairs.”  

 

Riley looked at the purple pen Maya had given her and then looked back up at her friend. “What’s this for?”

 

Maya grabbed Riley’s hands and gently pushed her to the ground. Then, walking around in a circle, she spread the dress out around her and carefully examined it. “There!” she exclaimed pointing to a random, if perfectly smooth, area of silk. “That’s perfect.”

 

“Perfect for what?” Riley asked now more confused than ever.

 

Maya grinned and grabbed Plum from her spot on the vanity. “Perfect to draw on. Plum and purple cats have always represented hope, and what better way to start your wedding than walking with hope down the aisle.”

 

Riley looked at the fabric pen she held in her hand and the orange pen Maya held in her hand, understanding dawning on her. “A purple cat and Pluto.”

 

“Exactly.” Maya pressed a kiss to the top of Riley’s head before opening her own pen and beginning to draw an orange planet in the background of the purple cat that had begun to make itself known on the white silk of Riley’s dress.

 

***

 

“Ready sweetheart?” Cory asked fighting back tears as he watched his wife carefully place a veil that had been loving fashioned with pieces her own veil on his only daughter’s head.

 

Turning around Riley slowly made her way towards her father, white silk rustling as her brown curls gently bounced and framed her face. “What do you think Daddy?”

 

“That all this time I should have been chasing Farkle out of your room instead of Lucas.” Cory told his daughter, his voice choked with emotion, as he pulled her into a tight embrace and pressed a kiss to her cheek. “You look so beautiful. You’re going to take his breath away.”

 

“Thank you, Daddy. I love you,” Riley whispered as she stepped back and turned to embrace her mother. “I love you too, Mommy.”

 

“And we love you, sweetie,” Topanga murmured, unsure when her little girl who had begged her to tell her about the galaxy every night had become this graceful young woman who appeared before her. “We’re so proud of you, Riley. You found love and you fought for it and your father and I can’t wait to see what becomes of it.”

 

“Alright, everyone, let’s get this show on the road.” Auggie said, appearing with Maya. Brushing a kiss across his sister’s cheek, he held his arm out to their mother and led her out of the room like the young gentleman he had become.

 

“You and Farkle are your own great love story,” Maya told her as she handed Riley her bouquet of purple and white roses, “and I know that through any up or down you’ll stick together. See you down the aisle, Honey.”

 

“Ready to take on the world, sweetheart? It’s a new world out there, but you won’t be alone; you’ll have Farkle with you every step of the way,” Cory repeated his question as he gently led his daughter out of the room and to the beginning of the next chapter of her story.

 

Looking down and catching a glimpse of the small purple cat standing under the soft light of Pluto, Riley smiled up at her father, confidence in her smile and her step. “Ready.”

 

\---------

 

Riley stared in awe at the little girl who slept peacefully under a light blue blanket as the planets circled around her. It was a gift from her Aunt Maya and Uncle Lucas – a mobile that Maya had created herself and had made sure to include a small orange planet in its solar system; Pluto.

 

Gently picking her daughter up and cradling her in her arms, Riley walked over to the window – the streets of New York City busy as people carried about their day – and smiled down at the scene below her. “Hello, little one,” she whispered softly, careful not to wake her up, “your daddy and I are so happy to welcome you home. It’s a big world out there and it might seem scary at first, but I promise that one day, you’ll make it your own.”

 

Sitting down on the bay window – it had been the one requirement Riley had had for their new home – she gently stroked her daughter’s soft cheek. “We love you so much, Aimee. There may be times when your daddy and I fight, but I promise you, sweetheart, that we love each other and that we will always love each other, just like we will always love you and be so proud of you, no matter what you do.”

 

“And you will always be my little girl and I’ll always chase the boys in your life out of your room,” Farkle added as he walked over from where he had been standing watching his family and brushed a kiss across his daughter’s forehead before turning to Riley and kissing her.

 

“Farkle.” Riley said, amusement playing in her voice.

 

“What?” He asked grinning. “I promise I’ll chase them out the front door, not her window, and that I’ll throw their shoes after them so they don’t have to go home with only one shoe. “

 

Riley turned and buried her face in his shoulder in an attempt to muffle the giggles that were trying to escape. “Just make sure you chase the right person out of her room. My family doesn’t have the best track record with chasing the right guys,” she told him before stealing a kiss from him.

 

“I’ll try my best, my princess,” he told her, mimicking his best British accent and making Riley smile.

 

“What were you doing, Riles?” he asked as she laid her head against his shoulder and they gazed down at their little girl who had woken up and was now staring back at them with her big brown eyes.

 

“Just introducing the world to our Aimee,” Riley murmured, brushing another kiss against her daughter’s forehead, her gaze catching sight of a stuffed purple cat in Aimee’s crib as she looked up. “I think she’ll like it.”


End file.
